On Love…
The Transformative Power of Regularly Showing Love to Our Children
In the whirlwind of our daily lives as parents, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, often leaving us with little time to pause and reflect on one of the most important aspect of our journey – our relationship with our children. I know this personally, as I will often go days (weeks?) without stopping to think, “when is the last time I really paused and let my kiddos know what I really love about them?” And yet, the good news is, a little bit can go a long way! In my work as a parent coach and educator (and in my personal experience as a parent), I have the privilege of witnessing the profound impact that consistently expressing love and gratitude can have on a child's confidence, self-worth, and overall sense of security. Not only this, but the impact it has on our relationship with them! And the bonus?! When kids feel connected to us, they’re so much more likely to be collaborative and cooperative.
Prioritizing Moments of Affection: In the midst of our busy lives, what could it look like to consciously prioritize moments of expressing love and gratitude towards our children? A moment to share how lucky you feel to be their parent. A short note in their backpack. Letting them overhear you talking to someone else about something you love about them. These moments may seem small, but their significance is immeasurable. However it looks in action for you, these gestures lay the foundation for a strong parent-child bond.
The Power of Regular Conversations: One particularly effective method to nurture this bond is engaging in regular conversations with your child about what you cherish in your relationship, and then inviting them to share as well. Creating a safe and empathetic environment for your child to share their emotions and thoughts not only strengthens your connection but also instills in them the importance of open dialogue. It also affords them the feeling of being listened to, valued, and understood – all fundamental aspects of a healthy parent-child dynamic. Furthermore, this practice can elevate their self-assurance and courage as they witness the positive impact of their words on your demeanor. And, perhaps even more importantly, not only do they feel valued within the context of your relationship, but they also take this belief of being valued with them into other relationships throughout their lives.
Cultivating Love and Gratitude: By conscientiously initiating discussions with your child about the aspects of your relationship that you treasure, you cultivate a familial environment steeped in love and gratitude. This intentional approach lays the groundwork for a relationship characterized by trust and emotional closeness that will serve your child well as they navigate life's complexities.
The Impact on Emotional Growth and Development: In essence, demonstrating affection and warmth towards your child is not only valuable but essential for their emotional growth and well-being. By routinely delving into conversations about the components of your relationship that resonate with them, you forge a sturdy base of love, trust, and transparent communication that will endure the test of time. This also builds the practice of talking openly in general, which you get to build on as problems and hard topics come up. You will already have a practice of regular dialogue, and one that they associate with warmth and trust and a feeling of being valued.
Throughout our journey of parenthood, amidst the chaos and challenges, the thread that holds everything together is the connection and love we share with our children. It's not just about the big moments but the consistent, small expressions of affection that build a foundation of trust and emotional resilience. I also know that it can be hard to do this regularly. That’s where establishing a habit of this comes into place. As a parent with ADHD, the truth is I can easily forget to do this. So, I sometimes set an alarm on my phone to remind me. No shame, just meeting myself where I’m at, and finding an approach that works for my brain.
As parents, let's embrace the power we have to shape our children's lives through the warmth and love we show them in the smallest of ways – for it is, indeed, a priceless legacy that lasts a lifetime.
